A Quest for a Better Than Good Enough Marriage

  • Cocktail Hour
    by in / Big Ideas / Communication / Having Fun / Intimacy
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    Cocktail Hour

    I was the youngest of five growing up, and one of my earliest memories is of my parents reuniting each evening after work to have a gin and tonic and talk about their day together. I don’t recall any of us kids trying to horn in on that time, though

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  • A Cup of Water in the Night
    by in / Big Ideas / Communication / Intimacy
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    A Cup of Water in the Night

    Here’s an interesting question: If your spouse woke you up in the middle of the night and asked for a cup of water, would you get it for them without question? Would you first want to know if they were ill, or something else was keeping them from getting up

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  • Four Styles of Marriage
    by in / Big Ideas / Communication / Conflict
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    Four Styles of Marriage

    One of the most interesting bits of wisdom presented to us regarding marriage styles was shared by some very dear, more relationally experienced friends. They have traveled the world, talked with people everywhere, and seen the same patterns over and over again. They named these patterns the “Four Styles of

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  • Don’t Mess It Up!
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    Don’t Mess It Up!

    Oops… too late. Like everything in this beautiful, yet broken world, nothing is perfect – including relationships. Which means soon or later, you are going to mess it up with your partner. It happens. We’re human. For any number of reasons, a lot of broken, unhappy marriages exist these days.

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by in / Communication / Conflict / Ideas / Spirituality
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“A Severe Mercy”

Just one month into our wedding, I had an experience that changed my life. It was a weekday evening, we were in bed, restless and trying to get some sleep. For some reason, it was just one of those nights when neither of us could get there. Just as one

by in / Conflict / Ideas
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Critical Much?

There’s a certain tone that can be heard in a group of women. Maybe in a group of men, too, but I wouldn’t know. One woman will make a disparaging remark about her husband, then the others will chime in: such dopes, these men we married. I try to imagine

by in / Ideas
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Monogappy?

Why that odd name? Well… it’s like monogamy + happy… first off. But, it’s also like mono (meaning “one”) + agape (meaning “unconditional love”). One Love. Which we kinda liked. That’s all. There’s one less thing to worry about.

by in / Communication
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Day in the Life

Is it okay to just write about today? Today, I’m a 44-year-old woman who woke up thinking about finances, making lunch, and whether or not my son needed cough medicine before school. I tried to think of ways to help him remember all the crazy things he has to remember

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Interview: A Word From the Wise

Interview: A Word From the Wise

Our fabulous marriage mentors, (Yoda, collectively), have agreed to share with us a bit of what they’ve learned about being married: What We’ve Learned in our Marriage The relational discoveries we have made in our 54 years of marriage have their roots in our faith in God and the desire

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Interview: Leonidas & Pepper Potts

Interview: Leonidas & Pepper Potts

With the help of a few single-ish friends, we came up with the following questions, which we sent out to several great couples we know. Here are some of the results: 1. How do you keep the romantic spark alive? L: Touch. A kiss every night in bed before sleep.

by in / Communication / Spirituality
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“Still a Believer in Marriage”

We came across this in the paper a couple days ago… So… wow, right? Makes me wonder first, what sort of business are these people working at? Then, what gender were they? All men? All women? Mixed? That’s gotta be an anomaly, right? I hope so. I hope people aren’t

by in / Ideas
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Just Some Great Lyrics…

Love’s Recovery by the Indigo Girls During the time of which I speak it was hard to turn the other cheekTo the blows of insecurityFeeding the cancer of my intellect, the blood of love soon neglectedLay dying in the strength of it’s impurity Meanwhile our friends we thought were so

by in / Communication
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Lots-O-Baggage!

Everybody’s got it! The question is, what do you do with it? I was talking with a friend the other night, and she told me how difficult the first year of her marriage was, and how close they got to calling it quits. But, then she talked about how they

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Interview: Crouching Tiger & Matolious Dunaden Tiger

Interview: Crouching Tiger & Matolious Dunaden Tiger

With the help of a few single-ish friends, we came up with the following questions, which we sent out to several great couples we know. Here are some of the results: 1. How do you keep the romantic spark alive? CT: An intentional way that we do this is spending