Resolve… and Agree to Agree

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The term, “Agree to Disagree” is often touted as good advice for couples, but I think that only works for things in the differences-of-opinion category.

We should distinguish between differences of opinion (I wanted to go out for Mexican, he wanted to go out for Mediterranean), and actual issues that need to be worked through, like:

• Whose family are we spending the holidays with?
• Putting each other down in front of others
• What sort of diet are we going to have for our family?
• How are we going to discipline our children?

Caution: Open Communication RequiredSome things, and maybe even most things, need to be processed and agreed upon. Are you both ready and willing to tackle that? Do you know how to fight fairly? Will you work toward resolving things as quickly as possible so resentment doesn’t build up like that black scum that fills the grout lines in the shower if you leave it for too long?

If you can’t find resolution together*, you’re not going to have much of a partnership.

*Together means both parties are willing to find compromises and be personally sacrificial for the good of both parties. Again, one laying down the law and the other capitulating does not a Partnership make!

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