Posts by category: Communication

by in / Communication / Conflict / Ideas / Spirituality
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“A Severe Mercy”

Just one month into our wedding, I had an experience that changed my life. It was a weekday evening, we were in bed, restless and trying to get some sleep. For some reason, it was just one of those nights when neither of us could get there. Just as one

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Day in the Life

Is it okay to just write about today? Today, I’m a 44-year-old woman who woke up thinking about finances, making lunch, and whether or not my son needed cough medicine before school. I tried to think of ways to help him remember all the crazy things he has to remember

by in / Communication / Spirituality
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“Still a Believer in Marriage”

We came across this in the paper a couple days ago… So… wow, right? Makes me wonder first, what sort of business are these people working at? Then, what gender were they? All men? All women? Mixed? That’s gotta be an anomaly, right? I hope so. I hope people aren’t

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Lots-O-Baggage!

Everybody’s got it! The question is, what do you do with it? I was talking with a friend the other night, and she told me how difficult the first year of her marriage was, and how close they got to calling it quits. But, then she talked about how they

by in / Communication / Conflict
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Like Fine Wine

Like Fine Wine

I young woman asked me this recently: “When I sense distance between me and my boyfriend, I tend to want to talk it out and come to agreement quickly, but he tends to want to process by himself for a time before he talks it out with me. Is this

by in / Communication / Conflict / Ideas
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Know That Emotion!

What emotional response do you have to conflict? The reason I ask is because early in our marriage, when we would have conflict, I would feel sadness and Rick would feel anger. Here’s how it would play out: We would have an argument. Then I would, hating the feeling of

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“Love Languages”

Within the first two years of our marriage, someone suggested the book, “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman – it totally blew our minds. I recall being occasionally frustrated by what I could only attribute to a husband who was clinically nuts – rushing around after he got home

by in / Communication / Having Fun
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Pay Now or Pay Later

Back when we were just young pups, and our kids were little, we met with a very wise mentor who asked, “Have you been going out and spending time together away from your kids?” Most young parents recognize the need (or at least the desire) to get away for an

by in / Communication / Conflict
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Resolve… and Agree to Agree

The term, “Agree to Disagree” is often touted as good advice for couples, but I think that only works for things in the differences-of-opinion category. We should distinguish between differences of opinion (I wanted to go out for Mexican, he wanted to go out for Mediterranean), and actual issues that

by in / Communication / Conflict
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Resolve… Fast! (the basic idea)

I can count on one hand how many times in the last 20 years I have fallen asleep angry at my husband. It’s probably a record or something. I remember the first time it happened, because later that night, I woke up crying hard from a terrible and realistic nightmare