But let’s start with that first thing. We’ve noticed that when friends start talking about sex getting to be less of a priority, that it isn’t long before we start hearing about other problems, too. It seems to be a pretty accurate barometer of how things are going in the relationship.
In our relationship, we seem to have gone through a number of phases regarding sex. We tried to wait till we were married, we really did try – and mostly succeeded – but we know it’s really difficult (notice I didn’t use the word “hard”). Our honeymoon was just crazy fun. Then we embarked on our first year living together as a married couple… and having sex as a married couple. I was taking birth control pills which, we had not yet learned, make me crazy insecure and sort of pathetic. So we had a bit of a bumpy start. But, we’ve come a long way, baby.
For the most part, we figure, the reason people quit having sex when things get dicey is because they don’t feel safe. Good sex can’t happen when one or both people don’t feel safe. Someone feels disrespected. Someone feels under-appreciated. Someone is worried they aren’t good-looking enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah – you see what I mean.
Respected + appreciated + admired = Good (and more often) Sex
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